The Intimacy of Art

The intimacy of art is profoundly important in my approach to art, through my long search for a greater depth of expression I stumbled across the intensity of expression at close quarters. By shutting out the world and focusing on my work I found that my drawing became like a meditation, size no longer mattered because my expression used whatever size of paper it required. I was not performing for the benefit of others or looking to elevate my position through boastfulness, instead I was at one, in my own moment drawing what I saw fit and felt through impulse, at that moment there is nothing else. This process feels so intimate and is like a symbiosis of all that I am with only a  pencil through which to express it all on paper.

 

I realised in the intensity of these moments that a part of my approach to art had been subverted from the intensity of intuition and feel, to one that incorporated performance, making products for a perceived . I also realised that there were stronger notions of intellectual guidance and aspiration, in an approach that wanted to extol the loudness of ego to compete in a world where attention is given to the attention seekers. This was not my place and never had been, it could only make me unhappy and living in such a way was but a brief excursion, because my integrity had been nailed on at a young age and I was incapable of living out a false life.

 

 

The intimacy of my art is returning with greater fortitude and it really is my greatest asset and I think why my work speaks to ordinary people, ordinary people like me who like to see things for what they are, no games or bullshit. Just straight talking down the line, what you see is all there is, then you can trust the work and enjoy it. As I sit here now surrounded by some sketches they are almost looking at me from the page, there’s a cat sitting and looking questioningly at the viewer (which is me) and it has a vitality and appeal that is only there because it is a genuine drawing of an intimate nature, revealing how I felt deep inside. I wasn’t trying to make a grandiose statement or change the world, all I was doing was expressing myself in a moment. Now this is what I believe art actually is and the funny thing is, that I always felt this way but I’ve had to fight to maintain my right to do it in a world that’s looking for big shots and the next big thing.

So the reality is that I’m small, my circumstances are modest and I’m happy with that, I make intimate art that I believe in so much because it’s a part of me and so precious that I will not compromise it for the whim of  others or for the sake of false dreams. It is such a beautiful experience when you make something that means so much to you that words cannot express how you feel deep inside and how your whole being is warm, warm with what feels like a complete smile that engulfs your entirety. In times like this of great solitude there is no loneliness and your life feels warm and complete. These are my life affirming moments and why I defend all that I do because it is the most precious gift that I have and to lose it would mean that I would have lost everything. That is how important my art is to me and I will always stand up behind it and speak openly about it because it’s for real.  It can be a tough life too, because I’m going against the grain more and more as I feel  bound to expose the short comings of an art world that makes lives of ordinary artists like myself into a great struggle.

The system and framework of the art world, often led to me feeling slightly inadequate because I was unable to make the sacrifices that would have allowed me to climb to the heights. So I’ve had to dig deep at times, to resolve and justify my approach which I now feel is a underpinned by a robust set of principles and very practical theoretical notions . However the reasons that brought about a feeling of inadequacy came from pressures around me and the judgements passed upon me because I was not a big shot ego, fame and fortune had passed me by and in modern society we are judged through our material wealth. However I always managed to believe in my work because of how it made me feel inside, but this was a solitary state of being that I was unable to share with any conviction, because of the singularity of my approach. So the message is really one of integrity and values that come from an open and honest approach, art is not about packaging and retro fitted context, it’s about a visual communication and what you see in front of you.