I’ve been feeling like writing my blog recently as my head fills with ideas from the contemplative process of making art. I feel a greater sense of clarity about life, art and society and have found a way of compartmentalizing the conflicting elements which I experience through my practice. I now see, feel and understand society as a construct which shapes our thinking from day one, subjected to the religious, political, cultural and historical influence of our geographical location. I also see art as the gateway to freedom and emancipation from controlled thinking, a way of seeing and feeling life and the world from the core of ones being. Understanding the duality of life’s restrictions in society and life’s freedoms as a sentient being, I no longer feel so confused and am able to make art which is liberated from extraneous concerns, connected to a purpose I feel is relevant to my existence.
With art I feel there is no specific language though there is huge inference from the institutions which uphold a historical narrative and it’s this area I feel that I’ve had to break free from in order to develop my work. I was once a proud scholar of art history but had allowed this to override my own judgement, subordinating myself to the greater power of history until I felt it impeding my practice. Now I just need to feel free and enjoy the relevance of my own irrelevance, to break the invisible bond which held me like a prisoner to my own limitation. Whilst I don’t believe true freedom can exist I do feel that a deeper understanding of context allows a broader creative possibility. In my current perception I feel that this weight has lifted in my own life and I can work freely again, making whatever feels relevant to my intuition.
I’m still doing some more formal sculptural pieces for exhibition so that I can continue to exist in my poverty stricken life, sculptures which I can happily say are evolving through a more liberated approach to art. With my prints I feel there is still resistance out there and I’m unable to exhibit them anywhere and the same goes for my drawings, but there is a blessing in that the petty refusal which much of my art is subjected to only inspires me to develop it further without a concern. While I think it’s a bit of an outrage that many artists are unable to share their work through the institutions which are supposed to support artists, I do feel that I understand the institutional ineptitude and inability to recognize the maverick spirit, as it is merely reflecting and perpetuating the wider culture of western societies.
Art for me is an expression from individuals within a society to be shared with the wider society and not a flamboyant show for the elite, not for collectors to lock away and not for investment purposes, not bigger better more famous than you. The problem I feel is that art is too often at the center of the pomp and ceremony in society, trophies to perpetuate, vanity, ego, hierarchy, everything but a celebration of the expression itself. In one sense you have to play a game to get on and if you can’t through an ideological imperative you lose that particular game. I chose to lose so that I could win my freedom and that is where I feel I am at the moment, locked out of the system and locked into my true creativity.
I’ve embraced the invitation of creative freedom, to dance with truth and to dare to be truthful with myself and others, I just didn’t realize how deep the rabbit hole could be. I’m relatively happy with my choices and feel I’ve gone beyond what I thought I was capable of creatively, living my modest dream. Now I just enjoy making my art again with that child like innocence and feelings of excitement with each new piece I make, feeling relevant in my state of being. Always on the cusp of something new and exciting, never truly content and not looking for, or expecting a final outcome.
Thanks for looking 🙂
The creative acts of humanity invite freedoms which challenge boundaries and step into territories beyond the conventional. Often a context is retro fitted as an assumption to explain creative origin so that it becomes an understandable gesture. Tamed catalogued and recorded within the annals of the human history of art. Though in the shifting nature and fluidity of life and creativity, I do wonder about absolute theoretical imposition and the unquestionable narratives imposed upon society.
Whether context is relevant to creativity or not, is a question that I feel has no single answer, like the many unquantifiable aspects of our existential predicament. Should we not just able to do and make as we feel, regardless of the broader context which holds and shapes our lives. It’s a question which I feel is relevant with the soul searching that many artists are faced with, in order to cope with the incumbent pressures of society.
It’s ok to be free within society but what about being free beyond society, free to explore humanity beyond the boundaries of convention. An actuality common to creative people who think beyond the logical and rational constructs of society so that they may connect intuitively with the force of the universe and energies that make existence an actuality. There is just so much in life that can’t be explained, about the way we feel and our very existence.
Making art has torn me apart many times and forced me to rebuild my life so that I could move forward and evolve with the passing of time. The more open I became to learning exposed an increasing chasm in my knowledge and understanding of life. I grew to realize that there are no absolutes and that through semantics there really is no single truth beyond the specificity of context. That on a philosophical level life is lived on a collective assumption that contains our lives within the confines of a conventional narrative.
In a way the invitation of freedom which art has offered me has led me to feel that I’m caught in a trap, simply because I’m unable to be or feel free. The making of art has opened doors for my mind to explore and has brought some comparative wisdom to my existence, however there is still a resistance within me that I just can’t let go of. I don’t know if it’s specific to my nature, my insecurities or my personal battles with ego, or just the overwhelming information overload that is dumped upon us all.
For now I keep on keeping on, with my art asking the questions, looking for any answers so that I can move forward with purpose. I just hope that I can continue to express myself in a candid way, with relevant art that doesn’t have to be amazing and with an ego that requires no flattery.
Sometimes it gets a little heavy, have a great day 🙂
Through the course of my life-long artistic adventure I’ve grown fascinated by the simple act and predicament of existing. In particular how we define or assume an identity within the confines of a conditioned perceptual state. Through my work I looked at states of imprisonment within the mind and through the conditioning of our shared historical narrative.
I accepted “arts” invitation to explore without boundaries or a specific language. Taking the position that I can do what I like, think how I want to and make what compels me. I felt that by taking this approach I would discover some deeper truth about life and understand the act of existing with greater clarity. Perhaps even identifying and challenging the barriers that limited the breadth of my thoughts.
In the pursuit of creative freedom I’ve evolved beyond many of my boundaries, realizing that my state of being is interlinked with the fabricated narrative that binds society. Though I still feel bound by the framework of historical, cultural and political structures, I’m now able to see slightly further. To make art and express myself with and without a need for context or relevance to my society.
I believe the approach I’ve taken revealed how imprisoned and conditioned I’d become and how I policed my own lateral potential. The way in which the limits to growth are part and parcel of societal structures which dictate the terms and conditions of our lives. In one sense It feels like a prison (metaphorically speaking), because to get on you have to declare an allegiance in your actions, as in you have to be in it to win it.
The sculpture “No Escape” illustrating this blog is just another token gesture which explores parameters of freedom. Is the figure in the cage actually free from the cage that is society, is the figure imprisoned by society or is the figure in a self imposed incarceration, you decide.
Thanks for looking 🙂
I’m on the move once again with some sculpture making, somewhat refreshed by the time out I’ve been enjoying. I just feel the need to live a little in order to create relevant content away from fixation. Time out wandering and thinking with the distraction of other pursuits.
I find that after some time out I feel able to extricate myself from the quagmire (of my own making) and move on. I am after all chasing an invisible goal guided by an intuition which compels me to just keep on searching. Parameters guided by the knowing when I’m on target just as much as the knowing when I’m off target.
My art has become a tool for exploring life and is now more free from constraint than at any other time I remember. With my art their is a sense of hope and optimism for the future as I unlock the doors within my minds conditioning. My art slowly becoming free from the expectations and career pathways of a linear conventional narrative.
I know I’m close to moving on with my work , but then I’ve always felt that, the only difference is that now I realize there is no promised land. Instead just the beautiful prospect of an evolving and growing understanding of the simple act of being. That act of expanding knowledge and wisdom exposing just how little I know and understand of life. I guess it’s all about the more you know the less you know.
I’ve always felt that art is an invitation to explore beyond boundaries and for now I’m following this notion of art as freedom. Art which is not about commodity, historical context or lineage, art which is not about logic, rationality or convention. Though I’m still far from free in my mind and thinking, I will continue to accept the invitation.
Thanks for looking 🙂
Living with a calling to make art and explore sentient expression makes for a complex life. It comes down to a balancing act in which a consideration of the wider context of being is essential. For my own peace of mind I now pursue different elements and courses in life to gain what amounts to a reciprocal level of satisfaction. Drawing, writing, digital imagery, sculpture and conceptual exploration satisfy my creative impulse, whilst laboring, car restoration and all those fundamental chores ground me in my material reality.
I’m currently working on the finishing of a few sculptures I produced 6 months ago and am ready to produce a few more. It’s the time off and away from making sculpture, the actual living that really inspires my sculpture, creating a meaning and purpose for their conception. When I was younger I made art in a more habitual way and found this approach lead to the making of art for the sake of it as opposed to having a true reason and purpose. Art which searched for purpose and context, lead by expectations as opposed to the delivery of a more fundamental expression.
I still have habits though, I try to produce interesting and innovative compositions through my experiments. Creating studio pieces which I then produce in limited numbers so that I can sell some work, eat bread, drink wine and keep warm. However the majority of my work is not made for sale or exhibition these days as I prefer the freedom of experimenting with ideas beyond commodification. Art beyond the calling of business, career development and attention seeking, is where I’m most comfortable. Simply because I have nothing to gain beyond the satisfaction of exploring ideas.
Thanks for looking 🙂
Everything I’ve done is with me now, cos memories come and go,
the memories trapped inside of me, just seem to ebb and flow.
My life laid bare by a presence in the ether of my soul,
wondering if the point of life is living without a goal.
This amplification of feelings is affecting my state of being,
distorting my state of mind and the eyes through which I’m seeing.
Imprisoned by the memories that create despair,
with thousands of yesterdays still floating in the air.
All my thoughts and memories are flooding through my mind,
Tearing at my connection to the state of human kind.
Lost to a state of intensity in the truth of isolation,
leaving my state of being to float around the constellation.
Have a great day 🙂
It feels to me like we’re entering a new age in western civilization and for the moment a once clear direction is moving into a state of flux. Perhaps an evolutionary phase set within a wider awakening of self awareness and the breakdown of institutionalized intellectual authority. A time in which political philosophy, religious prevalence and cultural conventions are being superseded by a more collective individualism. A time in which there are the tools to communicate, research, publish and share, which makes the dissemination and indoctrination by an elite much less relevant.
There’s a growing political vacuum and a level of stasis in the political philosophy of the now generation, as nations become subordinated to a global economic model. A model which finances and dictates the terms by which the establishments of nations appropriate and control cultural contributions. A model which requires a management style as opposed to philosophical direction. A style which has in one sense stolen human freedom as we become compelled by the monetary system and its globalization.
In the west there is a growing movement away from religion, cultural classics and hierarchical heritage, as people find an autonomy within the system. So while society is held by an economic commitment, conversely individuals are granted greater freedoms through the wealth and prosperity of human innovation. Creating a unique and significant period of change for humanity in a cultural context, a philosophical turning point in critical theory. An era beyond post-postmodernism that relates to a potentially broader level of human freedom. Freedom which goes beyond a society controlled by traditional hierarchical institutions.
From an artists perspective I feel it’s an important time and one in which a growing perception of freedom is an important element in the production of artistic expressions. Yes we are prisoners (not only to ourselves) and perhaps will always be prisoners to the states we exist in, but within our confinement there is a compulsion to explore. To explore our existence as deeply as possible using all the growing options that are available to us.
The terms used to catagorize periods of human endeavor don’t really matter, though they help to clearly recognize historic periods. Helping us to understand the work of creative and philosophical scholars who are exploring the human predicament in their contemporary context. This specific relevance of context is something which so often eludes my grasp through the confusion of my conditioning and enslavement to aesthetic preconceptions and traditions.
My years of deliberation led me to a reconsideration of the reasons and intent for the making of art. Reasons which once governed my life and actions becoming memories from an evolving theme. I keep on with my search and analysis realizing how important it is to maintain a level of flux. Changing and evolving through time, without the need for a validatory conclusion. Remembering that “time” it changes everything and the past is not a suitable place to rest.
So forward I will go producing art when there is a reason or need, at other times I will just live doing whatever I must to survive the material world. But the work I do will adhere to no rules, standards or expectations, because art deserves total freedom.
Have a great day 🙂
The magical metaphors from film sometimes play out in our lives and may even help to navigate ways through the abound layers of confusion and detritus. For me the “Red Pill” is poignant and almost defines one of my clearest life choices, even though I still suffer with the chronic indigestion of from the consequence of taking it. Yes that simple reference holds me in its grasp and maintains my levels of fortitude in that virtual place beyond. It may even help me, “Fly on ~ Past Zion” (the title of my illustration).
Recently I’ve started drawing again after a few years of creative abstinence I’d had enough of art and become bored with myself and that whole live die repeat process. But now I feel awakened to a new sensibility which drives me further in my study of real time existence. My invitation from the ether to pursue a creative exploration of my evolving state of being. Art with a purpose relating to a reality I perceive as meaningful.
I’m still fueled by a level of discontent with myself and the whole circumstance and the narrative I feel held by. Something which agitates my soul and makes me search for that alternative way of seeing and feeling. This agitation is a vital component of my psyche and the very reason I make art, the thorn in the side which irritates me so much that I have to act. To think and do in order to resolve the dilemma that is inherent to the human state of being.
This discontent led me taking the red pill about ten years ago when I decided to stop playing the game and pretending contrived civility was beneficial to civil harmony. It just didn’t feel right that in the art world all we ever did was explore how wonderful and amazing everything is within the protected tiers of hierarchical society. It just seemed that consequence and reality was ignored in the protected bubble where I coexisted. A world where art was more about art than a free human expression.
I wrote about my discontent until I was blue in the face so that I could really see through the bubble I was in. Eventually I did see through and though I still feel bound by the history we follow, I know there is a way of going it alone. A way of expressing with a freedom that is not governed by expectation and convention. A method beyond career steps, away from the certification of acknowledgments and judgments, art that is neither good or bad because it’s just a free expression.
Art beyond the grasp of curators, institutions and academics, because it has no currency within that specificity, history and expectation. Art that is free and radical with an irrelevance to a finite cause, because the mystery of expression is a reflection of the mystery of life. Art distanced from the grasp of an establishment and the economic cause of human governance and control. So just remember if you “under think”, the truth may escape. 🙂
Having broken free from my shackles I feel that in (taking this metaphorical pill) making my decision I found a new approach, offering a greater freedom of choice. All I have to do is open my mind further and evolve into whatever unfolds in the actuality and experiential realms of my own existence. There will be no benchmark of success or failure only a feeling within that all is ok in the act of existing.
Hope you have a great day 🙂
I struggle to define and maintain an identity in the busy tumult of life. Fighting off expectations and the narratives which have been stitched into my soul through societal conditioning. Sometimes I think that’s why I maintain this blog, so that I can try to write what I feel and connect my thoughts in relative anonymity. Reassuring myself that it’s alright to think for myself in the pursuance of an unfolding and shifting destiny. Reassuring myself that it’s alright not really knowing or understanding anything.
One such struggles is the constant reaction to the dissonance I experience with what I perceive to be the western institutionalization of art. The romance, elitism and absolute narratives which affect the way I see art and its purpose within society and civilization. It’s something which binds my soul in a sense and compromises my freedom as an artist. Because I can’t express myself without concerns, worrying about how my piece of the jigsaw relates to the overall picture. I struggle to even see beyond what I’ve been taught.
So I fight with myself, locked into a theoretical conflict which only exists as a perception. Searching for the key which will unlock the psychological restraints which hold me back. A fight which beholds many artists (I presume) from their invitation to explore life without boundaries.
I feel grounded by my insignificance in the broader scheme of existing and though I understand this, I’m unable to live and work with this acknowledgement. It’s an issue that creates a conflict in that it would be great to make and share art for an audience yet that very notion alienates my sensibility. Because producing art as a commodity for the judgmental gaze of society holds too many strings.
This criteria that is imposed upon the way we see art is what blinds me when I try to make art, because I have a conditioned way of seeing. When I tell myself it doesn’t matter and not to worry about it, it’s because I know that I can’t. I also can’t separate myself from the ego and performing notion of being an artist and that need for flattery because of how art has been paraded by the elite for so long. I can tell you it’s a fucking nightmare being an artist.
All I ever really wanted was to be able to express myself without compromise, to get a glimpse at my truth and connection to existence. Something which has provided me with a life-long challenge and something which I’ve failed to do year in and year out. Where I feel I’m not failing is in my intent to explore and the openness of my mind which leads me from the complacency of contentment. And here in my blog I get closer to the truth than I do in any other aspect of my world.
Oh and I did a drawing today too 🙂 the first one in a very long time, just thought I should acknowledge that stinky virus we’re all having to contend with.
Thanks for looking and have a lovely day 🙂
As a younger person I made art with a definitive purpose, driven by a set of beliefs which I felt compelled me to follow a specific and defining criteria. But over time my outlook changed and I now feel there is no constant constant which makes being absolute a virtual impossibility. Making right and wrong, good and bad and even indifference, a transient actuality. A view which renders the decision making in art somewhat arbitrary.
My core set of beliefs had grown out of a need within to establish myself, to search for something new and declare an identity. It became like a prison over time and held me to a way of seeing and expressing myself. It also type cast me and my art to specific traits and expectations. My whole approach was driven by insecurity and ego and became the mask I hid behind. Later becoming the curse which I needed to disassociate from.
Though I didn’t understand my dissonance with any perspective and distance I did feel tremendous discontent as I struggled with the whole me, myself and I predicament. I just wanted to make art without the responsibility of authorship or ownership, “disassoart” as I call it. Art made in a more random manner using whatever means arose in the reality of my own existence.
Firstly I scribbled then I turned them into digital photos and began manipulating the images with random software applications. It was a process that I found fascinating and it produced interesting and unexpected outcomes, art which I didn’t feel responsible for. The art I made was snubbed by all my associates in the art world and I realized how trapped I was into the “being me” which emerged into the art world in the eighties.
My new ways of seeing and personal evolution was irrelevant to those who knew me and the lack of faith in my judgement as an artist beyond being a horse and rider maker was astonishing. A reaction which really set my art free to explore without boundaries and false expectations. In fact my art is now so free that it has no destination beyond its own isolated conceptual relevance. For it has no destination or intent beyond the action of conceiving it and for the most it doesn’t even exist beyond a digital file.
It is an ironic story of success and liberation in an abstract way in that there has been an positive outcome. A personal evolution in which I found new ways of seeing beyond the parameters of my expectation. Of seeing art beyond ego and commodity and a growing understanding of the importance of human expression as a pathway to a deeper truth and recognition of existence beyond simplistic societal protocol.
Finally I can live my life with a sense of freedom in that I no longer need to perform or pretend to myself. I can just live immersed in my flaws and chaos, a crazy life in a crazy world, surviving in adversity.
So have a good one 🙂
Eoghan Bridge 